Are you the jealous type?
Before you start throwing poo at me, let me clarify what jealousy is NOT:
1. It’s NOT jealousy if you wish you had someone else’s life (that’s envy) or stuff (that’s covetousness) or spouse (that’s lust).
2. It’s NOT jealousy if you act like a lunatic when a person of the opposite sex compliments your spouse (that’s insecurity).
3. It’s NOT jealousy if you won’t let your spouse out of your sight (that’s distrust).
Here’s what jealousy IS:
1. Jealousy IS maintaining vigilance against threats to your marriage. Jealousy is a kind of sixth sense; it begins as that uneasy feeling you get when you sense that something — or someone — is threatening your relationship. But before you go ape, verify that what you’re feeling is in response to an actual, legitimate threat – not just a rotten banana. If you continually lash out against imaginary threats you’ll just end up looking like a paranoid monkey – and you don’t want that now, do you?
2. Jealousy IS defending your marriage against attacks. Only a fool is complacent when his marriage is under attack; jealousy causes you to take action. Unfortunately, the most common mistake at this stage is to make your spouse the recipient of your angst. The goal is to neutralize the threat — not destroy your spouse — so make sure you’ve got the right target in front of you before you start beating your chest. Once you’ve successfully defended your marriage, it’s time to play offense…
3. Jealousy IS proactively protecting your marriage. Do you know that window stickers are the most effective part of a home security system? Not the alarm; not the flashing lights; not the security hotline; not the gun in the nightstand… the stickers. Why would a thief target a home with a security system when there are countless other homes that are unprotected? Likewise, if you want to keep intruders out of your marriage, advertise the fact that your home is secure (like, oh, I dunno… maybe openly shower your spouse with your love, affection and devotion?? Think of each act as a “security sticker” for your marriage!).
So let me ask you again, “Are you the jealous type?”