Posts Tagged ‘family’

The F*Bomb

Posted: July 26, 2011 in church, community, culture
Tags: , ,

The F*Bomb has been repeatedly dropped on me.

You know what I’m talking about.

“F*mily”

And not ordinary f*mily, either — out-of-town f*mily – the kind that’s on vacation while you toil away in the daily grind known as your life.

The first wave hit about 6 weeks ago (it was great seeing you Karen, Jack, Kyle & Chris!); the second hit two weeks after that (we loved having you Andrea, Maddie & Megan!); and the third f*bomb hit the ground eleven days later (and is still here — we love you Chrissy!).

Each bombardment lasts about a week and is a focal point of corporate energy — leaving a giant crater where discretionary time used to be.

These visits reminded me about the importance of f*mily, and a few things that make f*mily relationships different from other relationships:

1. You make time for f*mily. It doesn’t matter how full your schedule is; everyone is busy — get over it. When f*mily is around you adjust your priorities and you spend time together. That means you stop doing some things you normally do and you make time for f*mily.

2. You love f*mily unconditionally. There’s a love for f*mily members that exists independent of external factors. You don’t need a personality profile to tell you whether or not you’re compatible. No matter what happens, good or bad, you love f*mily unconditionally and you want to see them succeed.

3. You are there for f*mily. The little idiosyncrasies that get on your nerves are irrelevant when a f*mily member is going through a crisis. You are there for them — not because they deserve it & not because you expect something in return. You are there for them because they are f*mily and they need you. Period.

With these things in mind, I’ve been thinking about how flippantly people drop the f*bomb in churches. In fact, people are constantly dropping the f*bomb in my church — it’s even part of our mission statement: “We are a f*mily-oriented community of faith…”

“We’re all f*amily here.”

“You’re like f*mily to me.”

It’s always: ”F* this,” and “F* that.”

Really?

Is that true??

If so, what you mean is: “I’ll make time for you…I’ll love you unconditionally…and I’ll be there for you when you need me.”

Of course, then you have to actually do it.

Otherwise you’re a hypocrite.

And a liar.

And I’m pretty sure that doesn’t honor Christ.

So…

Maybe you ought to pause and think about what you’re about to say, before you drop your next f*bomb.

Here’s a clip from my Memorial Day sermon. In this intro video you’ll learn the value of memories (for nations, marriages, families, friendships, and in life) – especially during difficult times.  Additional segments are available on YouTube (or will be available on YouTube as I find time to upload them).

What’s one of your favorite memories?

 

Dawn and I just got back from a vacation in Miami. We’ve been married for 16 years and, for the most part, we’ve spent the bulk of those years focused on the “stuff” that comes with adult life (money, college, careers, kids, ministry, etc.).

This vacation was different.

No kids.

No work.

No to-do lists.

No chores.

No phones.

No email.

No blogs.

No Facebook.

No Twitter.

No text messages.

No contact with the outside world.

Just US.

It was amazing!

It strengthened our relationship in a way that “date night” never could. It seems that the simple act of giving each other our UNDIVIDED ATTENTION for an extended period of time has propelled our relationship into another realm.

What comes after “awesome” and “amazing?”

Whatever it is … that’s where we are.

There’s an intensity to our love that rivals the most passionate of newlyweds; and there’s a depth to our love that only comes from a lifetime spent together.

Newlyweds can never have that.

What we have is better.

So … I’ve taken some time to decide what this year (2011) is about for me, and I’ve decided it’s about FOCUS.

I think the principle Dawn & I learned in Miami can work in other areas of life.

If we focus on the things that matter most and eliminate the distractions, we can see amazing things happen.

How many of us fall short of our ultimate potential (in marriage, in family, in ministry, in life) because we spend too much time preoccupied with things that don’t really matter that much in the long run?

I’m guilty of pursuing too many “noble distractions.” Good ideas that should be allowed to die, or be delegated to someone else. Things I’m good at, but not great at. Things I like, but I don’t love. Things that matter, but don’t matter much. Things that are urgent, but not important.

Not this year.

This year I’m going to focus on the things that matter most to me.

1. My wife.
I know that all good pastors are supposed to put God in the #1 slot, but I believe God has called me to love my wife on His behalf. The more I love her, the more I love Him. I’m going to focus on being a better husband.

2. My kids.
My parenting role is changing now that Courtney & Kaden are getting older. I want to be a guide for them; I want to offer counsel and encouragement; and I want to see them soar like eagles. I’m going to focus on being a better dad.

3. Ministry.
I cannot explain how deeply I’ve been impacted by my study of the prophets. The requirements of Micah 6:8 (echoed in various forms throughout the entire Bible) to ACT JUSTLY, LOVE MERCY and WALK HUMBLY have transformed my understanding of biblical Christianity. I’m going to focus on applying those principles to my life and ministry.

4. Teaching.
At the core of my calling is a mandate to teach and preach. I know that I cannot be obedient to the Lord without providing instruction and exhortation to the body of Christ. It’s not about a denomination or a location — it’s about preparing God’s people for the coming of the Lord. I’m going to focus on my calling.

5. Strategies.
God has given me an ability to move people and organizations from where they are to where they want to be. I don’t write that in arrogance; but in recognition of the responsibility that comes with the gifts that God provides. I’m going to focus on developing strategies that make individuals and organizations more effective in the kingdom of God.

That’s it.

That’s what I’m going to do this year (and for the rest of my life).

Everything else is clutter.

Everything else distracts me from what’s most important.

I may occasionally blog, but I am not a blogger.

I am a husband … a dad … an ambassador of justice, mercy, and faith … a teacher … and a strategist.

FIVE things.

In FOCUS.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

What are the things that matter most to YOU?

[Note: This post contains an embedded video. If you subscribe via email and the video is MIA, please click here to view from the website.]

I confess, Jimmy Fallon’s “Thank You Notes” are a guilty pleasure of mine.

I can’t help laughing at them!

Be sure to spend some time on Thanksgiving actually giving thanks!

  • Thank God for the millions of things you’ve never thanked Him for; big things like salvation and little things like deodorant.
  • Thank your spouse for putting up with you; seriously, you know you’re a pain in the rump sometimes.
  • Thank your kids for helping you grow up; admit it, parenting forces you to grow up just as much as the kids.
  • Thank your coworkers for their contributions and your boss for great opportunities; if you feel like you have to lie to them, then it’s time to look for a new job.
  • Thank your friends for their friendship; good friends are hard to find.
  • Thank you mom & dad for doing such an awesome job raising you; and while you’re at it apologize for being a jerk in your teenage years.
  • Thank someone who doesn’t expect a thank you; I dare you to leave some cookies and a thank you card for your mail carrier or garbage collector.

 

THANK YOU for reading my post today, and THANK YOU – in advance — for the comment you’re about to leave.

What’s one off-the-cuff thing you are thankful for?

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV