Close, intimate, romantic relationships are very difficult to maintain over a long period of time. Based on personal experience, I reveal “some stuff I know” that can help YOUR relationship succeed…
Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Tags: intimacy, love, Marriage, relationships, romance
Tags: apologize, apology, I'm sorry, life lessons, Marriage, Parenting, relationships, remorse, repentance, responsibility, restoration
Nobody likes to admit they’ve messed up, but let’s face it, sooner or later it’s gonna happen. Learning how to apologize the right way is vital if you hope to preserve your relationship(s) over the long haul.
An effective apology contains FOUR ELEMENTS:
1. A statement of REMORSE. This tells the other person you feel bad about what’s happened and it usually takes the form of, “I’m sorry…”
2. A statement of personal RESPONSIBILITY. Never follow “I’m sorry” with “but.” That’s not an apology — that’s an excuse. If you are sincere then you need to take responsibility for whatever has happened. Own it & confess it: “I’m sorry that I _______…” Don’t pass the buck; don’t try to justify it; just acknowledge that you messed up and confess what you did wrong.
3. A statement of REPENTANCE. It’s not good enough to feel bad for something you’ve done if you haven’t learned from it. If faced with a similar situation in the future, what will you do differently? This conveys that you’re serious, you’ve given it some thought, and you’re not just trying to get out of the doghouse. “I’m sorry that I [did this terrible thing]. Next time I’ll [do this instead of that]…”
4. A statement of RESTORATION. The whole point of an apology is to bring healing to your relationship. As the “debtor” in the situation, restoration isn’t yours to grant — you have to request it. I suggest you ask nicely. The most common approach is, “Please forgive me.” Hopefully this will do the trick, but depending on the nature of your offense you may have to endure purgatory for a while. If so, take your medicine like a man; stay humble; remember that restoration is a process.
That’s my formula for an effective apology, but maybe I’m missing something. In your experience, what makes for a good apology? What makes an apology seem insincere?
“Must Love Dogs”?
What if you don’t?
If you don’t love dogs, the appropriate response to a statement like that depends on the nature of your relationship.
If you are single, and see it posted on someone’s eHarmony profile – please do yourself (& the other person) a favor and look elsewhere. DO NOT PASS GO. Pretending to love dogs just to get a date is sad & pathetic.
If you’re dating and later discover you “must love dogs,” then you’ve got options. You can (1) confess and hope he/she loves you more than dogs; (2) try to negotiate a compromise; or (3) visit a pet store and see how it goes. Who knows, maybe you just need to give love a chance?
If you’re married, buy a dog and love it. It’s that simple.
[Note: This principle may be applied to any scenario - not just dogs.]
Tags: Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Marriage, relationships, Superman
Every man wants to be Superman.
Because being Clark Kent sucks.
Someone might object that Clark Kent and Superman are the same person.
I say, try telling that to Lois Lane.
To Lois, Clark Kent is a nerdy guy that she barely even notices.
Superman, on the other hand, takes her breath away. Her eyes light up when he arrives on the scene, and when he kisses her … she melts. Lois constantly raves about how amazing Superman is and she’ll drop anything just to be with him.
He is [literally] everything that Superman is — but she never sees it.
Ladies, you know I harass the fellas a lot on your behalf, but this time I want to remind you that your husband is Superman — or at least he has the potential to be a super man. Even if he won’t admit it, he wants to feel like he’s a superhero in your eyes. He wants you to think he’s “faster than a speeding locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.”
Here’s the secret: YOU are the source of his power. If you want a super man, start directing your affection and attention toward that nerdy guy in the square glasses. You may be surprised to discover a giant ‘S’ on his chest and realize you’re in love with a man of steel (let’s just hope he’s not sporting any spandex).
It’s your call, but I assure you every man wants to be Superman … because being Clark Kent sucks.